Beliefs

 

Have you ever set a goal, such as a new year's resolution and found yourself falling short of achieving your goal at the last minute?

Have you ever created an affirmation and then found that, in the long term, it didn’t seem to work?

Let’s use losing weight as an example. You put a lot of effort into creating a fabulous strategy and action plan to lose weight and are really determined this time to reach your ideal weight. Then… one day you wake up feeling a bit low and the next thing you know, you’re reaching for that bar of chocolate or glass of wine and telling yourself that just one won’t matter, and before you know it you’ve fallen back into your comfort zone and into your old habits and patterns of eating. This can happen to any of us in any area of our lives, for example, relationships, exercise, wealth, prosperity, health, self-esteem and much, much more.

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

These ‘patterns’ in our lives that we seem to keep repeating come from life long programming that starts from the day we are born, and in some belief systems happens in the womb, even going back to past lives. Such programming comes from our parents, family, friends, teachers, other authority figures, the media (newspapers, t.v. programmes, news), books and numerous other experiences.

This programming is mostly subconscious, meaning we are not even aware that it is happening and did you know that, according to a number of theories, most of the beliefs we hold were formed before the age of seven. Before the age of seven, we do not have the ability to discern what is ours and what is not. During our formative years, we absorb everything we experience through our senses just like a sponge, and some of what we absorb subconsciously can be very limiting.

An example of this could be one of a teacher who tells a child that they are stupid. The child, not having the ability to understand that their teacher is having a bad day and doesn’t mean what they said, absorbs this statement as true. The child may not question whether the statement is right or wrong because they automatically believe their teacher. The teacher’s statement may be programmed into the child’s subconscious mind and stored for the future and the child might consciously forget what the teacher said a few days later - once the teacher is being nice to them again.

However, the statement “I’m stupid” could have been stored in the child’s subconscious mind and might possibly manifest in numerous situations throughout their life, such as in the workplace, in relationships and in friendships. An associated subconscious belief that may go alongside ‘I’m stupid’ could be, “I’m stupid, so I’m not capable of getting a good job. Therefore, this child has become an adult who believes they can’t do well in their job, but doesn’t consciously know why. Sound familiar?

On a daily basis, our behaviour and actions are driven by our subconscious beliefs and, being that 95% of our beliefs (created by our environment and past programming) are subconscious, we are mostly unaware of why we behave as we do, and are even unaware that we are behaving in certain ways. This can leave us wondering, “Why does this keep happening to me?” This question often manifests when we experience such things as growing debt, failed relationships, losing weight and putting it back on again.

It’s easy to blame other people for the things that don’t work in our lives and it’s very easy to keep repeating the same sabotaging and limiting behaviour, because it’s what we know and understand - it’s safe and familiar. Can we ever move forward in our lives in ways that support us and benefit us, if 95% of what we are ‘playing out’ is subconscious?

Traditional psychotherapy tells us that, in order to uncover the subconscious drives that prevent us from living our lives fully, we need to have numerous sessions with a therapist. This is of course a valuable opportunity and offers the time to talk and work through what is not working in a person’s life. However, once the root cause of a ‘problem’ has been identified at the conscious level of the mind, how can the ‘problem’ be prevented from happening again?

Take as an example relationships. Person A keeps having relationships that always ‘go wrong’. They have just identified the root cause as to why their relationships keep ‘going wrong’ and have also realized that they are the constant in each situation. Person A now thinks that they may need to look at changing certain aspects of themselves (it could be to do with feeling worthy of a great relationship, or deserving to be with someone who will treat them well), which is great. However, how exactly do they ensure that the same patterns are not repeated over and over again in a new relationship and how do they go about feeling worthy of a fabulous new relationship?

The great news is that it is possible to identify your subconscious limiting beliefs quickly, and replace them with positive beliefs that will enable you to achieve your goals and desires at a conscious level.